Jehovah’s Witnesses Don’t Have to Shun Their Ex-Member Relatives Anymore — But None of Them Know It
Disfellowshipping among Jehovah’s Witnesses is a damaging organizational policy that goes beyond the traditional ex-communication of mainstream Christian churches. Here’s the definition of ex-communication from the Oxford English Dictionary:
Ex•com•mu•ni•ca•tion (noun)
the action of officially excluding someone from participation in the sacraments and services of the Christian Church.
Disfellowshipping takes ex-communication two steps further 1) by excluding a disfellowshipped individual not only from religious “sacraments and services” but also from all informal social interaction and 2) by requiring believing family members and friends to shun disfellowshipped Jehovah’s Witnesses or else face expulsion themselves.
Disfellowshipping may cause Religious Trauma Syndrome¹ in disillusioned members who are summarily rejected by their entire social support system. The policy also causes ongoing heartache for insiders who are forced to choose between their disillusioned family members, on the one hand, and their faith, God, and community on the other.
Finally, the threat of disfellowshipping has incredible coercive force, bringing into question the freedom of Jehovah’s Witnesses to make important life-altering decisions of their own will; a matter I discuss at length in A Voice From Inside - Notes On Religious Trauma Syndrome In a Captive Organization.
This has been the situation among millions of Jehovah’s Witnesses worldwide (and further millions of former Jehovah’s Witnesses) for decades. But recently, an important change to this policy has been made; a change that most Jehovah’s Witnesses are not even aware of.
Updated Policy in the Manual For Congregation Elders
In 2019, The Christian Congregation of Jehovah’s Witnesses released a new edition of the manual for congregation elders entitled Shepherd the Flock of God². Any inquisitive non-Jehovah's Witness can find this publication quite easily online. However, to a devout lay-Witness, the “Elder's Book” is a confidential text only provided to those members who have been appointed by God’s Holy Spirit to the position of congregation elder. The aura surrounding this book creates an interesting paradox wherein a curious outsider has more information about Jehovah’s Witness jurisprudence than does a rank-and-file member who has dedicated her life to the service of God in association with the Watch Tower organization.
An earlier edition of Shepherd the Flock of God³ released in 2012 addressed the disciplinary procedures for communication with non-witnesses. The book included “willfull, continued, unnecessary association with disfellowshipped nonrelatives despite repeated counsel” in a list of offenses that could be considered “brazen conduct” and result in congregation judicial action. However, the 2012 edition of Shepherd the Flock was mute on the ramifications of communication with disfellowshipped relatives.
But, a significant amendment to this organizational policy came in the 2019 edition of Shepherd the Flock of God. Unfortunately, the amendment went largely undiscussed among congregation elders and the rank-and-file are completely uninformed of this significant adjustment.
Jehovah’s Witnesses Now Have the Choice to Speak to Their Disfellowshipped Family
The latest edition of Shepherd the Flock of God again addresses communication with disfellowshipped relatives. If congregation elders discover that an active member is having “unnecessary association with disfellowshipped or dissociated relatives who are not in the household” they are instructed to counsel her using scriptural arguments.
Nothing new there. But this next portion is significant:
“If it is clear that a Christian is violating the spirit of the disfellowshipping decree in this regard and does not respond to counsel, he would not qualify for congregation privileges, which require one to be exemplary. He would not be dealt with judicially unless there is persistent spiritual association or he persists in openly criticizing the disfellowshipping decision.”
While the policy is still by no means defensible, the above has significant meaning for Jehovah’s Witnesses troubled by the practice of shunning within the organization. Shepherd the Flock clearly states that no judicial action can be taken against those who regularly associate with their disfellowshipped family members.
Of course, there are some caveats: 1) No spiritual association. (So don’t get caught going to a Taoist meditation center with your transcendental ex-witness relative) and 2) Members cannot openly criticize the disfellowshipping decision. If a member criticizes the policy in general, they are still subject to disfellowshipping for apostasy.
From an outsider’s perspective, this may seem like an insignificant policy change within an unimportant religious minority population. But the implications for families affected by disfellowshipping are profound; mothers can no longer be coerced into shunning their children, siblings with differing spiritual constitutions can finally reunite again.
Of course, the new policy implies that one must trade their “exemplary” standing in the congregation for continued association with their family members. So those who choose to avail themselves of this option will still face some community shaming. But my guess is that, for many Jehovah’s Witnesses, it is worth giving up the privilege of handing a microphone to attendees during a testimony meeting (a privilege reserved only for “exemplary” members) in exchange for the opportunity to share a family dinner with their disfellowshipped children and grandchildren again.
But They Don’t Even Know
The troubling reality is that the majority of Jehovah’s Witnesses are unaware of this policy change. It has not been communicated through organizationally sanctioned channels. And devout members are careful never to read outsider commentary about their religion in order to protect their cherished faith.
My purpose in publishing this article is to provide awareness of the situation for therapists and psychiatrists who treat Jehovah’s Witnesses for anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, and other trauma-related symptoms resulting from the effects of the disfellowshipping policy on their lives. Perhaps this information will also be useful for the many families impacted by this destructive policy.
Watch Tower leadership has taken an incremental step to address the conflict that their organization has proliferated upon millions of families. It’s not enough. This update does not go far enough in reversing the extensive damage caused by the captive policies of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
It’s time for regulators to take another look at the religious freedoms of Jehovah’s Witnesses and disillusioned PIMOs within their ranks. But in the meantime, I hope this information provides the victims some hope.
References
Winell, M. (2006). Leaving the fold. Marlene Winell Ph. D..
Watchtower Bible & Tract Society of Pennsylvania (2019). Shepherd the Flock of God. Watchtower Bible & Tract Society of New York, Inc. Brooklyn, New York. Retrieved from: https://www.yumpu.com/s/KQ9L34McNkjyH7Wf
Watchtower Bible & Tract Society of Pennsylvania (2012). Shepherd the Flock of God. Watchtower Bible & Tract Society of New York, Inc. Brooklyn, New York. Retrieved from: https://www.childabuseroyalcommission.gov.au/sites/default/files/WAT.0003.001.0001.pdf
